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by hulkwidownikki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 20:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3909112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hulkwidownikki/pseuds/hulkwidownikki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been over a year since Bruce had left on the Quinjet without a trace. Natasha had been tracking him every day until one day he comes back to her. references to AOU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I know the summary sucks but I wanted to start a little something I have been thinking about for a bit. I hope you all enjoy it!

Natasha sat in the new Avengers base as Steve went on about the last mission that they had been on. It had been over a year since the battle with Ultron and the last time she had seen Bruce or the other guy. She looked down at the tablet in front of her knowing that she kept it with her all the time. She wanted to be the first to know if and when he was coming back. In her heart, she knew he had to leave and the fact that him coming back anytime soon wouldn’t be too likely. He had caused too much destruction, He had caused too much pain; herself included.

“Agent Romanov?” Nick Fury said at the head of the table as she snapped out of her thoughts of the green monster who haunted her mind.

“Yeah?” she said with a heavy sigh before noticing that everyone around the table had been staring at her.

“Are you okay?” he asked as she gave him a smile and nodded still looking down at the tablet hoping for that signal to actually pop up.

“Alright then Avengers, until the next mission” Fury said as everyone started moving around to their next locations. She stayed seated until Steve walked over to her putting his strong hand on her shoulder.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked as she smiled up at him trying not to show that her eyes were diverting to the tablet.

“Cap I’m fine, I have no reason not to be fine” she said as he leaned against the table.

“Well you have been kinda…distant” he trailed off knowing that he couldn’t blame her about it. He was distant for a time after knowing that Bucky was out there but not knowing where. This was different though, he knew that she and Bruce had something.

“No I haven’t“ she said standing up dismissing him and taking the tablet with her as she walked towards the door.

“I know you keep trying to track him, he doesn’t want to be found” Steve said as Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes.

“I know he doesn’t want to be found but maybe… he’ll give me a sign” she said knowing it sounded almost optimistic which was something Natasha wasn’t usually. Bruce had torn down the walls and made her what the Red Room taught her to fight off; emotional.

“Where are you going to spend your break?” he asked as they walked towards the garage of the building.

“I’m going to visit Clint at the farm then… who knows maybe I’ll get a hobby?” she said the last part being sarcastic.

“Well I guess I’ll see you when you get back” Steve said stopping to hug her quickly as she smiled at him.

“Steve… Thank you” she said as she pulled him close. She and Steve had gotten closer since Bruce left. He was now considered one of her best friends other than Clint & Laura.

“No problem, have a nice time” he said with his genuine smile before walking to where his motor cycle was. She watched him get to his motorcycle before walking to her black Camaro.

The rest of her day went by faster than expected and soon she was on her way to Clint and Laura’s farm house for a long anticipated visit with Clint and Laura. She hadn’t seen them in months, she wanted to visit them and of course spoil her niece and nephews. They were a good distraction from the loneliness that she was becoming accustomed to. When she pulled up at the remote farm, she could see Clint chopping firewood, Cooper & Lila building a snowman and Laura supervising it all with her cup of tea in her hand. 

“Auntie Natasha!” Lila squealed seeing the car come to a stop and the red head getting out. 

“Hey guys” she said as Cooper joined his sister in greeting his Aunt who he had not seen in a long time. 

“Nat, glad you could make it for Christmas” Clint said walking over to her and hugging her tightly. 

“Glad to see you too” she said knowing that this was the closest thing to a family she had, everyone else that she had known before the Red Room were long dead. She was a firm believer in choosing your family anyway. 

“Any news?” Clint asked with raised eyebrows knowing that he personally wanted to know too. Everyone had missed Bruce, he was their teammate, a part of the family and he was gone. 

“None” she said wanting to end the conversation before it started and focus on the kids who were still hugging her legs. 

“Auntie Natasha! You have to see Nathaniel! He’s walking” Cooper said pulling her hand towards the house where Laura watched smiling. 

“He is! Oh my gosh, this I have to see” she said enthusiastically as Laura laughed to herself 

“Guys, he’s sleeping, maybe when he wakes up we can have him show off” she said as they came up the steps. 

“Hey Nat” she said happily as Natasha hugged her with one arm since the kids were pulling the other. 

“Hi Laura” she said grinning as Clint walked up the steps behind them rubbing his hands together. 

“How about we get inside and get some cocoa?” he suggested as the kids let out a loud cheer and let go of Natasha’s hand. 

“Thank you” she mouthed knowing she loved the kids like her own family but sometimes them pulling her arm up the steps was a bit much for her. She looked around the farmhouse when she walked inside feeling the warmth of the heater. She smiled at the new pictures and the fresh Christmas tree that sat decorated in the corner. This farm house has become a second home to her due to the many holidays spent with the family. 

She had put her bags away in the room where she usually stayed, the room where she and Bruce had a moment. When she walked downstairs, everyone was drinking their cocoa around the fire. She would never know what it was like to have this for herself. She couldn’t have children and after everything that had happened with Bruce, she knew she wouldn’t open her emotions up again.


	2. Chapter 2

Before she knew it, it was Christmas Eve and she was holding Nathaniel while the kids begged to open their presents early. She looked down at her little namesake and kissed his cheek

“YA lyublyu tebya Natanielya” she said in Russian as the baby smiled up at her clapping his little hands together.

“Are you speaking Russian to him?” Clint asked as Natasha nodded grinning down at the little boy on her lap.

“Of course I am, someone has to teach my namesake” she said as she heard a beep from her purse on the table. It was the beep she had waited for since the fight against Ultron. She had Nathaniel down and took a deep breath hoping that this wasn’t a mistake. She made it to the table, her hands now shaking as she pulled the tablet out and opening the tracking program.

Clear as day on the screen was a dot, the dot she had wished for since the Quinjet had disappeared. Her breaths shook along with her hands as she tried not to show what was wrong. She could see the dot over the US and hoped that someway… he would know to stop.

“Nat?” Clint said walking up behind her as she turned around seeing everyone staring at her, including Nathaniel. She just handed Clint the tablet as his eyebrows raised

“Shit” he whispered seeing the location of the jet before it disappeared off the map again.

“No!” she said as Clint put the tablet down on the table and sighed as he pulled her into a hug.

“I’m sorry Nat” he said as she shook her head knowing that by the time she went to the last location, that it would be too late. He probably made a mistake and didn’t realize it until it was too late.

“It’s fine, I just thought that maybe… it would be a miracle or something” she said not wanting to show how much she wanted to see him.

“It’s okay to want to see him” Clint said as Laura walked over nodding in agreement to what her husband had said.

“Exactly, he made you happy and you miss him. It’s a human emotion” she said touching Natasha’s shoulder gently to comfort her.

“Who does she miss?” Lila asked as she walked into the kitchen to see what was wrong with her Aunt.

“Bruce” Clint said as Natasha tensed up at the mention of his name.

“Oh Uncle Bruce… I miss him. I miss Uncle Tony, Uncle Steve, and Uncle Thor too” she said as Natasha knelt down to her level.

“I’ll have to let them know that, you know they miss you too” she said as she nodded happily. The other Avengers had become like family even though it was just one visit. Tony and Steve even had sent Christmas gifts for the family.

“Did you love him?” Lila asked as Natasha looked taken back about her asking that question.

“Lila it’s not…” Clint started before Natasha cut him off cupping Lila’s cheek gently

“I did… I loved him very much” she said as Lila’s eyes lit up and she smiled.

“You should get married! That’s what people do when they love each other. They get married and have lots of babies like mommy and daddy” she said as Natasha closed her eyes and put on a brave face.

“Maybe one day but first I think it’s time for you to get to bed. You know Santa can’t come until you are sleeping” Natasha said as Lila gasped knowing that Santa was coming tonight.

“Cooper come on! We have to go to bed!” she said running back over to her older brother as Clint put his hand on Natasha’s shoulder.

“You didn’t have to answer that” he said in hushed tones not wanting Lila to hear them.

“It’s fine Clint, she’s a child. She doesn’t understand that things are way more complicated than they seem” she said as Laura grinned.

“Mommy come on!” Lila said as Natasha walked over to the kids with her hands on her hips

“Aren’t you going to say goodnight?” she said as Cooper and Lila both hurried over and hugged her legs.

“Good night Auntie Nat” they said in unison as Laura walked over to where they were.

“We are going to read them a story then we’ll be right back down” she said as Clint picked up Nathaniel and walked upstairs with his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA lyublyu tebya Nathanielya is I love you Nathaniel in Russian. You know she has to speak Russian to her little namesake


	3. Chapter 3

Once she was alone, she looked around the living room knowing that she was finally able to process that Bruce had made the mistake of giving her hope. She thought that maybe he would be back, that he would give her the sign she hoped for. 

She heard Oh Holy Night playing softly in the background before hearing a knock at the front door. It was Christmas Eve and they weren’t expecting anyone. She raised an eyebrow and cautiously moved towards the door. She looked up through the peephole and was shocked when she saw Bruce standing there, nervously holding his hands. She shook not believing her eyes before she started to unlock the door. 

“Bruce” she said breathlessly as she opened the door taking in the disheveled doctor standing in front of her. 

“Agent Romanov” he said his lips forming into a smile as she took everything in. Before she could even think, she launched herself at him hugging him tightly trying to fight any tears that were welling up in her eyes. She felt his arms pulling her closer to him as she took everything in. 

“How did you know?” she asked still not wanting to let him go and not feeling his arms letting her go. 

“You always spend Christmas here” he said quietly as she heard the stairs squeak behind her. 

“Bruce?” Clint said in a surprised tone as Natasha felt his arms let her go and go towards Clint. 

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt your Christmas. I wanted to see Nat…” he said motioning towards Natasha. 

“You aren’t interrupting us. Why don’t you come in and join us?” Clint said inviting Bruce into the home and smiling at Natasha. He knew that Bruce didn’t have family to spend the holiday with and he was like family to him even if he thought he was selfish for his choice to leave. 

“Are you sure? I mean I don’t want intrude on your holiday” he said as Natasha looked over at him just taking in the fact that he was here in front of her. 

“Of course! You are family and it’s Christmas” Clint said with a smile before nodding and noticing the tension in the air.

“Well I should leave you two to talk, I got a story to read” he added before walking upstairs as Natasha watched him walk back upstairs. 

They sat in silence once reaching the couch before Bruce reached over and touched her hand, his body instantly relaxing at just the feeling of her skin against his. 

“How has everything been?” he asked not knowing where to start but knowing that he probably had missed since he had left. 

“Well we have a new base, Cap is doing well; still looking for Bucky. Tony and Pepper got married and he’s now just consulting for us. Clint and Laura had Nathaniel… my namesake. Thor and Jane got married, they are doing well. Fury is loving the fact that he doesn’t have to answer to anyone” she said knowing that he probably wanted to know how everyone else was doing. 

“Wow two weddings” he said surprised that so much could change in the year time that he was missing. 

“You would’ve gotten an invitation if we knew where you had gone” she mumbled as he smirked back at her. 

“How have you been?” he rephrased his original question wanting to know what had changed with her. 

“Fine” she said quietly wanting to dismiss any talk about how she had been. In all honesty her life was work just like it had been before she had started working with the Avengers. She threw herself in working so she didn’t have to think about her emotions or anything else really. 

“Anything new?” he said awkwardly as Natasha shook her head quickly to answer his question. The air between them was tense and awkward, something that it hadn’t been before he had disappeared. 

“Where did you go?” she asked knowing it was what she had wanted to know all along. 

“I went a lot of places…. I spent the most time in Calcutta” he said as she could feel her body trembling. 

“Calcutta…” she repeated trying to take in that he had gone back to where it had all started for them. 

“I needed to think and get back to doing more good in the world” he said before looking up at her. “Calcutta was the best place for me…” he said as Natasha looked up at him. 

“It was where we began” she whispered as he held her hand in his lacing their fingers together this time. 

“Life was easier and I didn’t have to worry about the other guy” he said as he looked over at him. 

“I know why you left…. I know you felt responsible for what happened” she said as he nodded. 

“Because he was responsible for that. Do you know how many people were hurt or killed?” he said as Natasha shook her head and looked up at him. 

“Do you know that you aren’t the only one who has hurt people? Who has killed people? Not everyone runs away from the people they love though. We were a family then you disappear without a trace” she said as Bruce sat taking everything in. 

“You have every right to be angry” he said knowing that it didn’t phase him because it was justified. He had hurt her, he broke her trust and knew that her feelings were something that she didn’t have a handle on.

“You could’ve said something, you could’ve wrote a letter or called but you didn’t. You left” she said her voice shaking and tears pricking her eyes. 

“You don’t know how many times I wanted to. I wanted to call you or write you Natasha. I thought about you every single day that I was gone. I had your picture with me everywhere I went. You are the only person who can stop…. the other guy. The only person who can make me… feel something that I didn’t think was possible before. My leaving had nothing to do with you or anything you did” he said as she looked up at him shaking her head. 

“I know it didn’t but it hurt. You hurt me and that…. that was never supposed to happen” she said as Bruce sighed knowing that he shouldn’t take her anger to heart because of what could happen. They sat in silence knowing that they needed to back off before the other guy made his appearance. 

“Why did you come back?” she asked quietly as he looked up at her and squeezed her hand. 

“Because I couldn’t stay away anymore” he said simply knowing that the reason was enough. 

“From everything or…” she trailed off as Bruce took his glasses off and sighed 

“You… I couldn’t stay away from you anymore” he said simply as she looked into his eyes searching for her next move. 

“Bruce” she said quietly before she leaned over and kissed him gently. It was only the second time that they had kissed but she could feel the sparks that flew between them from the first time all over again.


End file.
